The Harems Rejoice for XMas!
by Themulchmeister
Summary: Kouta invites his old high school friend Minato over for Christmas Eve dinner. He comes with a few rather unique companions but the trouble only seems to be roasting as more uninvited guests descend upon the Maple Inn. There should be no major spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**Seriously why haven't these two series been made into a crossover yet? They both have an average guy living in a large house surrounded by supernatural (and sometimes deadly) babes. They both have not-quite-human protagonists with a sci-fi theme and lots of mature themes and voilence (though Sekirei has alot more loght hearted moments I guess). Anyway the least I could do was a X-mas X-over for these two series. I was originally gonna do this in a one shot but instead I'll upload it in a number of small parts. even if you've only watched one of these series I think you should still find it pretty funny. Anyway enjoy the shenanigans of the Elfen Lied and sekirei cast as they get together for a X-mas special of sorts.**

The Harems Rejoice for X-Mas!

It was the Christmas Eve and a snow-filled night cast over the majestic town of Kamakura. Amongst the forests, encased in white blankets was one large house with six eager residents as they made the final preparations for some special guests this evening.

"The roast should be nearly ready now." Yuka, the alpha female of the house, put her hands to her hips as she recalled how many jobs were left to be done.

"I've finished decorating the tree and organising the presents." The only male resident of the household mentioned to his blonde cousin.

"So, Kouta, how many were coming over again?" Yuka crossed her arms, worried she might not have prepared enough food.

"Well Minato-kun is an old friend of mine who has been trying to get into the capital city's University. He told me he'd bring along a few of his – ahem, 'female companions'."

The two younger residents of the house, a girl with short black hair named Mayu, and a pink haired girl with two bony growths in her head named Nana, went over to the two mature residents of the Maple Inn. "Everything's set! Nana and myself cleaned all the bedrooms and windows like you asked."

"Good job." Kouta patted the young Mayu on the head. "Oh and Nana, could you maybe put a ribbon in your hair or wear a hat. I don't know how Minato and the others might react if they see your horns."

"Hai!" Nana saluted like a loyal soldier as she ran off to get some additional head-wear.

Yuka turned left then right as she sighed with additional stress. "Where's Nozomi-chan and Nyu?"

Kouta lifted his finger as he remembered. "Oh I had them go set up the kotatsu a while ago...But that shouldn't have taken so long." Kouta scratched his head as he decided to go check up on them.

…

"KYAH!" A quiet yelping noise could be heard from outside the living room. Kouta sensed some urgency and rushed into the room to find a woman with long pink hair, pinning down a poor girl with long black hair.

"NYU! What are you doing?" Kouta discovered the horned girl was resting one hand on Nozomi's breast while her other hand was...elsewhere on Nozomi's fragile body. She puckered her lips as she went down and gave the teary girl a sloppy smack on the cheek.

"_Kouta...make her stop..."_ The teary eyed Nozomi muttered as if pleading for dear life.

"THAT'S IT NYU!" Kouta dragged Nyu by the scruff of her shirt and lifted her off the ground as if picking up a dog. "That's a bad Nyu! I thought you knew better by now!"

Nyu turned towards Kouta with puppy-dog eyes. "But Kouta, I can't help it, they're just so...just so!"

"I'm sorry Nyu but we I already gave you three warnings earlier we can't have you doing this to our guests now."

Then as if the timing couldn't be any worse Yuka called out to Kouta, "They're here!"

"Shit!" Kouta had to come up with a plan to deal with the perverted girl. He scanned around the room as he still held her by the shirt.

"Kouta what are you do-"

"That'll do!" Kouta cut the pink haired girl off as he found a nearby wardrobe. As he heard the guests starting to arrive he proceeded with the plan. With his free hand he flung open the doors and with his other hand dumped the poor horned girl inside the wardrobe before quickly slamming the doors shut and bracing his body weight against the wardrobe.

"HEY KOUTA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? LET ME OUT NOW!" Nyu slammed her fists against the door as Kouta scrambled around for the key to lock the wardrobe.

"Sorry Nyu, I promise I'll let you out when they go." Kouta sighed as he finally locked the door. He noticed Nozomi's secret panties were still visible as she remain in a half seated position on the ground. "You, haven't wet them yet I see." Kouta made his cheeky observation."

"Hagh!" Nozomi quickly covered up her shame, putting her hand to her mouth like a nervous child would.

"Come on, we better greet our guests."

…

"Hey Minato-kun, it's been way too long." Kouta gave his old friend a big hug as they made their way in the Maple Inn. "I see you're still wearing your old attire." Kouta slapped his friend on the back.

"Yeah...I can't seem to afford new clothes at the moment." Minato laughed off nervously, wearing his usual white shirt, and denim blue jeans and jacket.

"That's right buddy. And it looks like you've got a few crazy ladies hanging over your shoulder too."

"**Nani!" **Kouta's words sparked little fireballs as Yuka showed her fanged glare.

"For your information I am Minato's wife." An elegant woman with long blonde hair and breasts which were barely contained in her frilly black dress answered. She clung onto Minato's right arm and she made a pouting glare at Kouta. "How dare you refer to me as crazy. If any of us are crazy it would be-"

"I'M MINATO'S WIFE TOO!" Another loud voice came from behind the others as she tugged on Minato's other arm. She wore much stranger clothing including red gloves and skirt and a white robe with a pink sash wrapped around the waist.

"Hey I'm Minato's wife too." A tinier voice came from somewhere behind the three of them. Kouta, Yuka and Nozomi looked around for the voice until it spoke again. "Down here idiots!" It was a tiny girl with long frizzy blonde hair and wore a simple white dress. "Hey Onii-chan, these people look mean? Why didn't we stay home for Christmas?" She squeezed Minato's left leg.

"Ehh...Well let's not say that about these nice people." Minato tried to alleviate her words just like an older brother dealing with an infant sister.

"Honestly, Why did the landlady send me here with you lot." A fourth person walked into the room with their hand pressed against their forehead. Kouta wasn't sure if this person was in fact a man or a woman, since they had a deep voice and short grey hair, but had a slender waist and small elevations showing on his/her white shirt. "Could you three for once stop being so embarrassing in front of other people."

"Oh Kagari you know you love Minato as much as the rest of us." The blonde woman retorted as she continued holding the poor man. "Stop acting like a Grinch."

Yuka thought she'd break the ice as she welcomed the guests. "Well would you all like to come sit down by the table? The kotatsu is all warmed up for us to enjoy."

"That sounds great." Minato said with relief. Judging by his drained expression, it almost gave the impression that he had walked all the way from Tokyo to Kamakura in the snowy blizzard. On the other hand he may have just been exhausted from looking after three (and, according to Kouta, maybe four depending on who Kagari was exactly).

Kouta and the rest of the Maple Inn residents would welcome their five guests. Who knew that they would be in for a long Christmas Eve that they wish they could forget...

* * *

><p><span>The guests have arrived and Nyu's been kept away in the cupboard to prevent any mishaps. What could possibly go wrong from here? Find out in the next chapter!<span>


	2. Chapter 2

**I think I might be in the Northern Hemishpere at the moment, because the weather down here's been rather mild lately. Normally our X-mases are pretty hot but I could go for this cooler weather anytime. Wait! aren't I suppose to be writing a fanfic?** **Well enjoy your Chrissy while you take a peek at the second fun-sized chapter!**

* * *

><p>"Eat up! There should be plenty for everyone." Yuka placed the roast and veggies in the middle of a table so it was self-serve for everyone tonight.<p>

The blonde woman who spoke formally, offered a spoonful of roast beef and gravy to her 'husband', hovering the article of food in front of his mouth as if trying to feed a child. "Here' you go Master Ashikabi."

The younger woman picked out some food for the lucky man as well. "Hey that looks like fun, here's some more for you Minato."

"Musubi, stop trying to woo Minato over to your side." The blonde accidentally threw the food in Minato's face as she bore her fangs.

"So you addressed Minato as an Ashikabi. What is that exactly?" Yuka tried calming the dinner guests.

As the two rival brides wiped Minato's face with serviettes he nervously explained. "Oh I probably should have properly introduced these people I brought with me. This is Tsukiumi." Minato tried to get a hand free so he could wave towards the highly strung blonde. "And this is Musubi." He referred to the girl on the other side. "This is Kusano down here, but we all like to all her Kuu-chan." He pet the young girl as she lay over his lap.

"Allow me to also introduce myself." The silver haired sheman stepped forward. "My name's Kagari and the four of us are Minato's Ashikabi."

Kouta sipped some more sake as he took it all in. "So is that some sort of cult-like polygamous relationship or something?"

Minato shook his head as he laughed off the remark. "Not at all. You see, an Ashikabi is someone who-"

Kagari took over yet again as s(he) explained. "An Ashikabi is a person who has formed a contract or a pledge if you might call it with a Sekirei." The Maple Inn residents all had dots passing through their ears in confusion. "*Sigh*, the four of us are Sekirei, which means we must find an Ashikabi so be can be what we call 'winged'."

Yuka, sipped more sake as she tried understanding these new terms. "So um...How did you all end up with Minato?"

Musubi bumped forward as she took over the explanations. "I fell on him one day! That's how we became Sekirei and Ashikabi."

Kouta sipped more sake as he tried piecing the Sekirei's story together. "Well Minato, you certainly have some interesting women – I mean uh, people around you." He corrected himself after noticing Kagari leaning against the wall.

"Aren't you going to have some food." Yuka asked the bishonen-tomboy.

Kagari crossed its arms waved a hand. "No thanks, I'm not hungry. To be honest I only came here because I can't rely on the other three to protect Minato."

"What was that?" Tsukiumi rose to her feet as she balled her fists in rage.

"So I hear your boarding in an Inn at the moment kind of like us." Kouta changed the topic.

"Yeah, there a few more of them back home at the Izumo Inn, but I couldn't take everyone with me so..."

"I'm sure they must be having a festive Christmas dinner as well." Yuka reckoned.

…

MEANWHILE AT IZUMO INN:

The landlady Miya, Kazehana and Matsu all sat quietly in a dark room with one candle and a small plain, burnt cake in the middle of the table.

Kazehana held an empty bottle of sake by her side as if nursing an infant child. Matsu tried breaking the awkward silence and wondered, "Say, Landlady, do you think we could have something a bit more wholesome for Dinner?"

The sweet landlady brought a hand to her mouth as she chuckled lightly. **"Why as soon as you've paid the four months rent you both owe me then of course**." She said innocently enough while a giant Hannya mask appeared behind her.

…

"_Haha! Hey come back here Kuu-chan!" _Nana and Mayu could be heard playing with Kusano in the other room as the relatively more mature (if you could call them adults) were left drinking by the warm kotatsu in the living room.

"...And she even thought at one stage she'd need to copulate with her Ashikabi." Kagari got into the mood as he made another joke at Tsukiumi's expense.

The blonde lady grumbled under her breath as she tried maintaining her modesty. "Just you wait Kagari, you'll still live at least while we're in from of these guests."

"Hey Tsukiumi, we should tell them how I always beat you in our little shopping races too." Musubi joined in on the piss-taking.

"Yeah, well we have had many a fun time with our own comic relief provider in the house." Kouta contributed to the discussion as he nestled his legs into the table. "Nyu-san has never gone a day without having one of her 'moments'."

"Oh yeah." Minato was interested. "What does she get up to?"

Kouta drew a blank when he was undecided on whether he should reveal Nyu's perverted tendencies especially since that was the reason why he.

Bash-bash. A small knocking noise came from the closet nearby. Minato and the other Sekirei glanced over at the shaking cupboard. "Um...There seems to be something moving in your cupboard.

Maybe the sake had reduced Kouta's will to put up even a lame excuse. "Oh, yeah...That's just Nyu...I kinda locked her in their for a while."

"KOUTA YOU BASTARD LET ME OUT OF HERE!" The pink-haired pervert could be heard yelling from inside the cupboard.

"Um...Do you think we should let her out?" Minato suggested in an awkward tone.

"Nah, she'll be fine." Kouta shrugged off the poor girl's plight as he downed another glass of rice wine. "She has about forty-five minutes of oxygen left in there, so that should be long enough for her to learn her lesson."

Nozomi lowered her head in embarrassment as she remembered why Nyu had to be kept in that safe place for a while. "Kouta's right, you don't really want to see Nyu right now."

Yuka glared at Kouta with a scowling gaze. "Kouta, why the hell did you lock her in the cupboard you jerk?"

Kouta tried defending his actions. "Hey, you'd have wanted me to do the same if she was into your panties."

GASP. Yuka dropped her drink all over herself as Kouta made another blunder. "D-don't bring that up in front of guests!"

Kagari walked over and pointed to the cupboard doors. "She sounds like she's very upset. You sure I-"

"Soooo Minato-kun." Kouta disregarded the genderless person again. "We don't hear much from the capital these days, is something big going on there at the moment."

"Well." Minato shifted his eyes around nervously. "We actually shouldn't be here. The five of us are participating in a sorta massive multiplayer game, you know when there's a battle and everyone has to fight to the death – a royal something or other."

"Interesting." Yuka noted. "So is there a big prize for the winner."

"Well-"

"The winner gets to stay with their Ashikabi forever!" Musubi hopped over Minato's lap again almost crushing his waist.

"Sound's like a romantic competition." Nozomi regarded. "So why aren't you allowed here?"

Minato twiddled his thumbs, just hoping that these people didn't turn out to be spies for the MBI. "Well you see, a pharmaceutical company has taken over the city and closed the perimeter off from the rest of the country – so really we're lucky to get out unnoticed.

"A 'walled' city..." Kouta rubbed his chin. "Is it like _NEEDLESS_?"

"Need-what?"

"Oh nothing, so anyway, is security tight? I mean how did you all get out?"

Kagari sat back down so he could try and answer. "I think I might know why..."

…

BACK IN TOKYO:

A crazy white-haired man wearing a white cape pointed to the moon as he shouted on a rooftop.

"_**My wonderful birds...The anniversary of a God's son is upon us – HARK as we all prepare ourselves for a feast of love and desire...But do not forget my children, that our magnificent love story must continue as we narrow our heart towards that shining diamond in the river! MHAHAHA!"**_

"Just what the hell are you doing Minaka?" A middle-aged woman with grey hair and wearing a white coat stepped out onto the roof of the monolithic skyscraper that was the MBI pharmaceutical headquarters.

"I dunno Takami, I was just trying to do another one of my genius monologues – but I'm _so_ exhausted," sighed Hiroto Minaka – the Chairman of MBI and the leader of the Sekirei Plan.

"Chairman, I came here to inform you that a number of Sekirei from the North have escaped the city." Takami reported as she held a clipboard in front of herself

The eccentric leader shook his head. "Yeah...I suppose I shouldn't have gave those guards all that Egg Nog for Christmas Eve."

"Wait a minute, isn't that what Americans drink for Christmas?"

The chairman retorted. "Who cares. We're not even the main characters in this fanfic anyway."

…

KNOCK-KNOCK. Some more door bashing, only this time it wasn't from that pesky Nyu. Yuka jumped up as she went to check who else was at the door.

For the sake of familiarising Kouta and the Elfen Lied cast with the Sekirei story, Kagari quickly explained how there were 108 Sekirei, who each had special powers and could gain extra strength by kissing their Ashikabi and who each had to fight each other to claim victory and thus be guaranteed a peaceful life with their Ashikabi.

"Oh, well that somehow makes perfect sense to me now." Kouta answered generically.

"HEY MINATO YA BASTARD! Why didn't you invite you're old buddy to your party?" Yuka was pushed back into a wall as another visitor barged into the room.

"And who are you sir." Kouta said more like his usual wimpy self.

"Aww god why did _he _have to come along." Minato tried hiding himself under the kotatsu.

The man was solidly built and held two identical looking women who wore matching skimpy Santa outfits. They both shared uncomfortable glances as their Ashikabi began groping each of their breasts in front of anyone. "Name's Seo, and my two awesome babe Sekirei here are Hikari and Hibiki!"

More unique and mysterious guests had now arrived at the Maple Inn, but it seemed this was still only the cherry on top of the stale pudding that had been left on the bench for far too long.

* * *

><p><span>And with that poignant metaphor we find more Sekirei characters setting foot on the unsuspecting Maple Inn residents. Will they be able to cope with all these strange people? Will Nyu ever be let out of the cupboard<span>? Find out in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**I may need to change the rating as this chapter start to get a little more naughty (thanks a lot Yuka). But who cares, I'm having fun, and X-mas is over, so with a litte bit of Crackiness I'm gonna see this stroy through to the end!**

* * *

><p>SOMEWHERE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF KAMAKURA:<p>

"I can't believe four Sekirei have escaped right under our noses."

"Huhu, it's because you were to busy ogling our Ashikabi as always."

"WHY YOU!"

"Now, now, both of you, let's enjoy ourselves...It is Christmas Eve afterall..."

…

SOME TIME LATER...

"~Sake's our God! ~Thank God for Sake! Whoo-hoo." Seo swayed around as he held onto his two trophy Sekirei. It didn't take him too long to catch up to the others.

The rest of the Maple Inn residents were also able to demonstrate what happens when you down Sake like holy water.

Yuka was already crawling across the table in her drunken stupor, her shirt barely hanging onto her shoulder. "Minato...I think-hic fuck this, you're such a gorgeous guy. Kouta's such a jerk, I'll just take you into my world right here!" Yuka fell on top of the now defenceless Minato as she tried forcing her way with the poor gentleman.

"Ahh! Yuka-san! Er umm...Tsukiumi! Musubi! Little help." Minato craned his head as she tried quirming way from the stinking blonde on top of his body. "Um...Kagari?"

"I'm having a few problems of my own Minato." Kagari braced (it)self against a wall as Kouta began holding up his fingers, salivating in his own sake trance.

"To hell with it! I don't care if you're a guy! You're fuckin' hot, and just my type." Kagari was wondering what kind of sick perverted standards this man actually had in mind when he defined his 'type'. "I could go Gay right now for you. Then all the Yaoi fans would give this story reviews! HIC I mean, I forgot what I was saying..." Kouta trailed off as he noticed a missing wall.

"~MINATO-KUN'S MY WIFE TOO!" Musubi screamed as she held a terrified and confused Nozomi by the neck.

"NO YOUN FIEND HE IS ONLY MY -HIC WIFE!" Tsukiumi fell over the two of them as she tried grabbing the poor Nozomi-chan from Musubi's bear grip.

The poor girl who somehow got herself confused for their Ashikabi whimpered with fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. _"Please...Just..Somebody save me!"_

Watching over the drunken orgy love of Maple Inn residents, Sekirei and their Ashikabi were three very sober and very cynical young girls.

"Grown-ups are all the same." Mayu regarded with disdain. _Perverted fuckers, _She said a swear (A SWEAR?) in her head.

"Thank god I quit that stuff in Chapter 82." Nana put her hands on her hips noticing the giant hole in the wall she just made.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Why is that stranger girl trying to hurt you?" Kusano cried as she noticed Minato being violated in a number of areas by Yuka.

"We should really stop them before someone gets hurt." Mayu looked to the other girls.

Nana pressed a hand to her chin and thought of a quick solution. There could only be one person who might be able to break this madness, but can she really be trusted.

"Nana-chan? What will we do?" Mayu pleaded to the pink haired girl.

She bunched her fists as she knew the one and only option. "We have to awaken the other Nyu-san!"

"No if she does that? She might kill them."

"Then what do you suggest?" Nana retorted angrily. "That I just go in there and stop them? I'm not going near those perverts – especially Kouta-kun!" She noticed Kouta was already tearing at the white haired sheman's shirt.

As the two girls bickered and the 'grown-ups' continued what was probably a Japanese version of Twister, the tiny Kusano had unleashed her own solution to the problem.

"LEAVE ONII-CHAN ALONE!" She roared as if crying atop a mountain peak as huge vines started growing out of the little pot plant she held in her hands (did we forget to mention she was holding a pot plant? Well you weren't really paying attention any-OWW!). The plant's wreath (wreath geddit? It's like wrath but-OWW STOP THAT!) spread across the room, twisting around each of the adults as the additional vines burst out of the ceiling, growing into huge swathes of forest undergrowth. "Ahh! That's better." Kusano sighed with innocent relief as she skipped over and brought down Minato.

Minato dizzily tried speaking to the child Sekirei. "Ugh...I told you Kuu-chan not to use your powers. Now we're gonna grab unnecessary attention!"

…

MEANWHILE:

"LOOK OVER THERE!"

"Huh? What the hell is that?"

"It looks like someone is trying to grab some unnecessary attention, let's go!"

…

SOME MINUTES LATER: ENOUGH TIME THAT WILL SOBER THEM UP (WELL SOME OF THEM UP) A BIT:

"This is quite troublesome." Kouta scratched the back of his head. "I hope you will be able to cover the costs of these damages Minato-kun."

"I'm so sorry, I should have mentioned that my Sekirei have some wild powers." Minato shrugged off as he cowered behind Kusano nervously.

"We're sorry." Musubi bowed in humility before Kouta. "Aren't we Tsukiumi?"

Tsukiumi crossed her arms in defiance. "Well I can hardly see why we are to blame when it was all Kusano's doing."

"Hehehe...Who cares let's just keep drinkin eh?" Seo continued rocking back and forth as he held his twin Sekirei.

"Ohh that's it!" Hibiki and Hikari both ignited the inner electricity in their body as they zapped the life out of their perverted Ashikabi.

Tap-Tap. "Um...excuse me...It sounds like your all having fun out there, can I please come out now?" Nyu called over from inside the cupboard which miraculously remained intact after Kusano's rampage.

Kouta pinched his nose as he decided to let Nyu out. "Okay let me just find the..." Kouta felt around his pockets. "Oh crap! Where's the key?"

Everyone suddenly twisted their necks towards Kagari and Yuka who were over at the other side of the room. Yuka had not quite recovered from her stupor yet and had found a new target as she crawled her now pant-less self slowly over to the grey-haired Sekirei. "I always wanted to do it with a chick, then all the Yuri fans would give me reviews."

"For fuck sake Yuka nobody in the fandom likes you so get away from it." Kouta tried controlling his cousin but she was already closing in on Kagari. She pinned Kagari against the wall with one hand whilst holding up a small and shiny object with her other hand.

"CRAP OF ALL PEOPLE _SHE _ENDS UP WITH THE KEY!" Everyone else said together.

Yuka scrunched her face into something resembling a constipated kitten or an erotically-charged squirrel as she spoke in a squeaky (and very disturbing) voice. "Can-Hmph-Hehe, hey could I put this key – I mean does this key have a lock on you – no wait!" She kept confusing herself with her own words. "I-hehe...Just wanna see if this can go in your-"

SWOOSH. A ball of flames overcame Yuka's body as Kagari unleashed hiser's own power on the unsuspecting girl. Before Yuka could suffer any serious burns a downpour of water slashed over herbody from seemingly nowhere.

"Hah...hah...hah...I tried to suppress my powers, but that bitch was was out of control!" Kagari panted.

"Kagari! Tsukiumi! Now look what you've done!" Minato scolded the older Sekirei as she twisted their feet in the dirt like children who were 'fessing up to stealing the last cookie.

"No-no, that was quite useful actually." Kouta downplayed the two Sekirei's behaviour as he walked over to a wet (just from water) Yuka.

"H-hey Kouta, wanna know a secret?" Yuka whispered as she lay on her back.

"Not really, but where are those keys you just had?"

"Gun-hunhun." Yuka sniggered like a doped up schoolgirl. "Hey Kouta, you wanna know where those keys are?"

Kouta crossed his arms like an impatient teacher. "Goddamit Yuka what have you done with them then?"

"Ghehe." Yuka lifted her head so she could whisper something in Kouta's ear. "Those keys I..."

Kouta instantly recoiled from the woman. "AWW FUCK! That's sick, what the hell's wrong with you?"

Yuka kept sniggering as she sat onto her feet. "Well, Kouta-kun?" She swayed her hips as she made puppy dog yes for her cousin. "Aren't ya gonna grab 'em out?"

Before the children could experience anymore of Yuka's horrible shenanigans several more dark presences burst into the Maple Inn. All three wore identical black uniforms with a wagtail crest insignia. One of them who had red pigtails yelled out to them, "There they are! And it's those same ones who let number 95 escape in the first season!"

"Okay we've got no more walls left to break so enough already." Kouta pleaded to these new surprise visitors. "And who might you three be?"

The young girl with pigtails spun around and landed on her knees in a strange splitting pose whilst her heavily bandaged, claw wielding counterpart raised her arm in a much lazier pose. The redhead spoke for the others. "The three of us are – THE DISCIPLINE SQUAD! And we're here to punish those who try and escape MBI's game."

* * *

><p><span>The house has been nearly destroyed by Kusano, Yuka is trying to rape the guests, Nyu is STILL locked in the cupboard and now the MBI Disciplinary Squad have showed up? Surely this CANNOT get any worse for Kouta, Minato and the others? Find out in the next chapter!<span>


	4. Chapter 4

**This story should only need one more chapter after this one. I've pretty much crammed in all the stuff I wanted to happen in this chapter so I can get this one finished quickly. Oh well X-mas may have been a few weeks back but these lot have taken enough crack that it doesn't matter anyway! So let's all shut up and enjoy the next chapter!**

* * *

><p>"Hey! Why did you lot have to tear down half the house to come in here?" Kouta snapped. "You should've knocked instead."<p>

"Silence you dork!" Benitsubasa lifted Kouta by the shirt and threw him into the – well the mound of plaster that was once a whole wall.

"Kouta!" Nozomi rushed over to aid the fallen hero as Yuka was still trying to get into Kagari's pants for some reason.

"Now it's time to head back!" Benitsubasa gestured over her shoulder. "If you try and resist, then we'll have to use force."

Musubi rose to her feet and punched the air. "Well, then it seems we must fight!"

"Please no, Musubi...I think we've got a big enough repair bill as it is." Minato pleaded with the bear fisted beauty.

"Don't worry Minato, I'll protect you!" And with a very unreassuring wink Musubi lunched her fists into the pink-haired discipline squad Sekirei.

Benitsubasa blocked Musubi's flurry with her arms crossed. "Tch. So you wanna play rough now?" Benitsubasa stood her ground and caught Musubi's fist before slamming the rest of body into the floor.

"KYAH!" Mayu and Nana leapt away from the giant crater in the ground. They looked over the edge before Musubi shot out of the hole like a human rocket.

"HIIIYAAA!" Musubi unleashed her ultimate flying kick onto the black-clad Sekirei as she struggled to hold back the force of the bear.

"Dammit, you guys can come and help anytime ya know." Benitsubasa cursed before she finally gave in and was blown away by the kick.

"Well I suppose I should help the dumb girl out." Haihane grinded her claws as she was about to advance when she found her path hindered by a wall of water.

"Don't forget – according to the Manga, you are supposed to be my opponent." Tsukiumi declared. "Oh drat now I've broken my water wall!"

"HAGH! GEKEISHIN!" Benitsubasa slammed her fists onto the ground, triggering a miniature earthquake that threw Musubi into the air. Meanwhile Tsukiumi continued her skirmish with the Blue Sekirei.

"MIZU MATSURI!" Tsukiumi blasted a huge wave of water onto her opponent, sending her crashing into the trees outside.

As the four Sekirei continued their melee, Kouta was literally shitting bricks at that point.

"Okay, Minato, what kind of fucked up harem have you gotten yourself into?"

"Ugh, I must fight the discipline squad but..." Kagari continued struggling against Yuka's drunken advances. "Seriously vile temptress I must ask that you desist!"

Yuka must've thought that was just fancy talk for 'welcome aboard' because she sniggered some more as she lowered her head towards it's netherregion.

_Oh, no...She's not even a Sekirei but she's overpowering me...How will I defeat her?_

"Mhhhh...Now to get those silly pants off." As Yuka raised a hand into the air she found that something had suddenly passed through the palm and had left a bloody hole behind.

_Oh my god! She just got shot in the hand? _

Yuka didn't seem shocked or hurt at first. When she looked at her bloody mess of a hand she shrugged her shoulders and started licking the blood as if she were consuming a melting ice cream.

"So she's a masochist too?" Kagari shouted in shock. "Dammit get off me!" Kagari finally managed to push the drunken bleeding cousin-complex girl off his/her/both's body.

"Crap! Where did that gunshot come from?"

"HEHEHE! Looks like you were all having a party without me." A large solid-built man with dark shades and wielding a large gun walked through the smashed courtyard. "Now, I know one of you freaks has to be the horned bitch I was after, so start 'fessing up or I might blow off more than someone's hand next time"

"Gehe." Yuka giggled at his supposed pun as she continued gorging on herself.

"So now we've got freaking the Terminator Guy showing up?" Kouta protested. "Who else is going to show up?"

"Hey Mutsu! Mutsu there they are!" Suddenly a bishonen blonde haired teenager in frilly clothes riding on the shoulders of a male Sekirei appeared. "They are the one's who stole the Jinki!"

"Jinki!" Benitsubasa shouted as she wrestled with Musubi.

"Jinki?" Tsukiumi shouted as she held some more water dragons over her head.

"Jinki?" Minato shouted as he remain braced against a tiny wall.

"Oh god..." Kouta slapped his forehead. "'Jin-kai..." He spoke rather in a lacklustre manner.

"That's right..." Another group of voice emerged. This time it was a taller man wearing a white suit appeared with two more Sekirei by his side. "Now if you will hand it over please Minato."

"But I don't have it...It must be with"

"Shaddap!" The commando gunman interrupted. "Bandou doesn't give a shit about no Jin-key crap so just tell me which one of yaz is the horned bitch before I shoot all o' ya"

"Hey Minato, you better just give 'em the stupid thing." Seo whispered over in his friend's ear. "These guy's look pretty pissed – and that Bandou dude looks like has got a serious case of 'roids."

"Yeah, but I'm telling you we left that with Matsu and the others at Izumo Inn." Minato tried to explain.

"So now they have not only tried to escape but they have tried to take one of the eight Jinki as well?" Benitsubasa roared.

"I haven't read the Manga, what's a Jinki?" Mayu raised her hand as the final piles of wall dissolved into powder.

"It doesn't matter what it is. I just need you to hand it over now!" Mikogami, the bishonen Ashikabi of the South put out his hand, expecting someone to hand him the treasured object.

"Seriously guys can you all take this away from my house." Kouta hopelessly tried to intervene as the uninvited guests grew more agitated.

"RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE"

"Psst, Kagari. Do you have the Jinki?" Minato called over to his fiery Sekirei.

"Actually, the landlady entrusted me with the Jinki so we could hide it here but..." Kagari searched shits pockets but couldn't find it. "Fuck, where'd it go?"

"~Ohh yeah..." Meanwhile the whole mob fell silent as someone kept moaning in the corner. Yuka was playing with a long and sharp jewel with the number '8' on it; she kept poking her gunshot wound with the device as if – well yeah that was exactly what she was doing with it!

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE YUKA!" Suddenly everyone (who suddenly somehow learned of her name) swarmed towards the perverted girl. But just as they were about to rip the poor (well not really) girl to pieces the splintering wood of a certain cupboard flew across the un-walled room.

Kouta shuddered when he noticed the horn-y demoness was standing by the shattered remains of the cupboard. "Oh holy mother of fucking God..."

As everyone shared jaw-dropping glares. Minato, spoke into Kouta's ear. "So is that Nyu?"

The horned-girl lifted her gaze so she could see everyone. "**You've all been having so much fun...But now I'm finally joining in..."**

* * *

><p><strong><span>NYULUCY'S escaped from the cupboard! What kind of horrible 'fun' could she possibly unleash on the Sekirei and Elfen Lied cast? Don't miss the final chapter of The Harems Rejoice for X-Mas!  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**And now** **for the epic conclusion to the Sekirei-Elfen Lied X-Mas X-over speXial: The Harems Rejoice for X-mas**.

BACK AT THE DICLONII RESEARCH FACILITY:

Kurama, Arakawa, Nousou, the Agent, the Operatives and the Unknown Man were all hanging out by the underground grotto. A single candle lit up the underground cavern for the lonely group.

"Hey guys," Kurama ended the awkward silence that was running through the group. "How come we haven't done anything in this fanfic yet.

Kakuzawa placed his hands behind his back and paced towards the large lake in the middle of the room. "Well you see, it seems we were not able to prove enough comic relief for this story, so we were excluded from the main scene."

"Ahh..." Kurama nodded. "By the way, I've never seen any of you guys before, perhaps we should get to know each other some more.

Arakawa smiled as she adjusted her tiny science skirt. "Well then, shall I start?"

And they would all live happily ever after...

…

BUT MEANWHILE:

The pink-haired woman stepped towards Tsukiumi, who had now ceased her fight with Haihane.

"Umm...What are you...?" Tsukiumi was unsure whether this particular girl could be considered friend or foe.

Suddenly, with the utmost urgency, Kouta shouted to the busty blonde. "RUN AWAY BEFORE SHE-!"

"**HEHEHEHE, yours are the biggest!" **Nyu latched her pincers onto the blonde Sekirei's breasts faster than the speed of sound. The poor water maiden moaned in protest as she tried to pry the insane perverted girls hands off her prized assets.

"GAH! Vile snake, I demand you liberate yourself from my body!"

"NYU!" Kouta was about to stop her when Bando burst through the crowd.

"HAH! There the horned bitch!" Bando fired a few warning shots which cut away some of Nyu's hair, but it seemed she was already focused on one particularly important task.

"Dammit woman! Are you gonna fight me or not?" Bando charged over ready to give the Diclonius a good knock back into her senses.

"Hehehe" Nyu continued playing Simon with Tsukuimi's chest puppies whilst the Japanese Terminator strolled over. But just before the Goliath warrior could strike her she had unleashed her invisible force onto the unsuspecting Bando, throwing him into Yuka.

"AGH SHIT!" Bando landed awkwardly on top of Yuka who seemed happy enough to have another unfortunate set of Y chromosomes at her disposal. Through the melee of Bando landing onto Yuka she had dropped the Jinki which coincidentally rolled over to Nyu's feet.

"NYU?" Kouta and Minato were shocked at Nyu's mysterious telekinetic force.

"THE JINKI!" Now all the remaining Sekirei had their sights set on the Jinki. Nyu kept (insert groping breast metaphor here) to Tsukiumi unbeknownst to all the attention around her.

"HAH! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Higa's Sekirei immediately clashed with Mikogami's as they converged onto the tiny gem's path. Benitsubasa and Haihane were now free to claim the Jinki for the MBI.

"Yes, it's mine!" Benitsubasa was about to swipe the Jinki when she noticed her dress was suddenly crumpling and twisting on her chest region. "AGGGHH!" She could feel a mysterious force trusting her left breast a quarter turn. "Is that girl causing this?" She grit her teeth in pain as she noticed the otherwise innocent looking Nyu.

Nyu stopped her session with the Water Sekirei and faced the Red Sekirei. "**Mmm, yours are no good." **She regarded Benitsubasa's chest size before untwisting her breast and throwing her with her vectors a fair distance away from the Maple Inn.

"Tee-Hee, even this girl thinks you're flat." Haihane sniggered before she felt Nyu's swift wrath as well. "Wait why me too? UAAGH!" And soon Haihaine would be following Benitsubasa into that faraway place.

"This girl...Could she also be a Sekirei?" The East and South Sekirei now turned their attention back to the mysterious player.

"She's weak." Katsuragi mentioned as she charged in with a flying kick. Nyu was still focusing on Tsukiumi's milk factories as she grabbed the East's Sekirei by the leg with her invisible hands and knocked over Hibiki and Hikari in the process.

"Hey now she's turning against my own Sekirei? What gives?" Seo was about to intervene when he was trusted by the transparent hands into Yuka's pile.

"Geehee." Yuka showed off her drooling smile as she grabbed Seo's chin and stuck her tongue in his mouth.

"MMMMTHHH!" Seo was probably trying to say 'why of all place did you have to throw me over here?"

"I'll avenge you Katsuragi." Oriha unleashed her bladed disks onto Nyu which had shattered as they neared two metres of her body. "A force field?" Oriha had barely any time to work out her power before her clothes were torn off and she was blasted away as well.

"Hmph." Higa maintained his composure as if he had an air of confidence about him. "You're quite strong, even though you're not a Sekirei, but-" Higa clicked his fingers and a whole army of his Sekirei prowled onto the remains of the Maple Inn.

"HUH"

"URGH"

"GACK"

"Agh not there."

Basically, none of them stood a chance against this freak of nature. As soon as they moved their front onto the pink haired demon they were punched, thrown, slammed or violated by Nyu's vectors.

"HAGH! Let me at that horned bitch!" Bando recovered and was about to rise to his feet when Yuka hooked her arm around his neck and threw him back down. "DAMMIT! This one's stronger than the horned bitch! AGGGH!" Bando roared in pain when Yuka started playing Human Ikea with the giant S.A.T hardman.

"Okay Mutsu now we can get the Jinki!" Mikogami jumped up and down like an excited preschooler on Mutsu's shoulder.

"Damn, someone please save me from this demoness." Tsukiumi was down to her knees as she grew weak from being squeezed in the region-that-must-be-the-source-of-a-sekirei's-power.

"Hey, I thought mine were bigger anyway." Musubi casually spoke put as she was waiting for her new opponent.

"Crap...Now she's moving on to her new target." Kouta slapped his forehead as Nyu leapt of the Water Sekirei and set her coordinates for Musubiville.

"The Jinki!" Mutsu was about to grab the item when Kagari blocked his path (somehow he had finally freed himself from Yuka's 'dungeon') "I have been entrusted with the Jinki," It gathered a ball of flames onto its fist. "You will have to fight me first."

Musubi, even as the airhead of Minato's group of Sekirei, seemed to get the idea that if you jump and fly around you can avoid Nyu's energy depriving gropes. "Hey, this is fun." Musubi continued playing supernatural hopscotch whilst Minato and Kouta shared uneasy glances.

"So what exactly is Nyu anyway?" Minato inquired.

"Hey I'm still amnesiac, how the hell would I know?" Some houses down the road collapsed as their walls were now breaking from Kouta;s response. "But all I wanna know is..." Kouta fixed his gaze on the Black Sekirei of the Discipline Squad. "What is she going to do? She's just been standing their smiling the whole time, I feel like she's gonna do something real soon."

"HAH!" Musubi tried to take down Nyu with her Kuma fist but she was now in her range. Musubi's top was blown away by Nyu's invisible claws as she began latching her parasitic tentacles onto the Sekirei. "Oh no!" Musubi's head slumped forward as she finally succumbed to Nyu's unique attack.

As the two groper and gropee continued hovering in their air. Karasubasa – the Grey-haired Black Sekirei had finally opened those tiny slots that were her eyes and formed a sadistic grin.

"**She's the one! She's the one I have to kill!**" And suddenly the seemingly idle Discipline squad Sekirei had launched herself like a missile, her sword already drawn and ready to dice up Nyu.

"NYU!" Kouta cried out to his beloved pervert.

"Musubi-chan!" Minato rushed over to catch the Sekirei as she made her descent back to earth.

"**HAHAHAHA! Yes you're definitely the strongest one I've ever faced!"** Karasubasa continued slashing her sword across Lucy's invisible barrier as Nyu's eyes seemed to be concealed by a dark shadow.

"What's happened to Nyu-san" Mayu called over from the ground.

"Oh my God! Lucy is now awake!" Nana shuddered as she fell to her knees.

"**YES! YES! MORE! MORE! MORE!" **The battle-lusting Black Sekirei continued her violent slashing attack as Lucy continued blocking. Soon Lucy went back on the defensive and slashed a vector across Karasubasa's torso leaving a diagonal slash. **"AHH! The first time I've been cut by an opponent in ages! This is great!**"

"Oh no! They're having an epic final battle in the sky." Nana observed in both awe and despair. "Now it seems likely they'll both finish each other off by using a cliche Single Stroke Battle quote."

Karasubasa licked her sword as she declared to Lucy. "Let's finish this with one last attack!"

"There, I knew it!" Nana interjected from below.

Lucy smiled and spread out her vectors like an array of long swords. "**Yes...Let's make this as anticlimactic as possible**."

"The fuck I care anymore I've got no house left." Kouta crossed his arms and waited for the outcome.

As the two combatants passed through each other, Lucy's vectors met with Karasubasa's Nodachi. As they both passed each other in the air they leaned forward and smirked.

Karasubasa's grin widened as she opened her eyes. **"Ahh yes that was definitely the most anticlimactic battle I ever experienced, but it was also the greatest."**

Lucy also smiled with a sadistic air about her. "**Shouldn't your lower half be falling off by now?**"

Karasubasa laughed as she suddenly spewed up blood. "**Ahh, you're quite right**." And with that her waist and legs collided with the earth shortly followed by her lifeless body.

"Oh my God! Nyu-san killed her!" Mayu shouted over to Kouta. "Kouta, Nyu-san killed someone, this is where you're suppose to freak out and remember everything right? Kouta" When Mayu looked around the warzone, searching through the scattered array of casualties she couldn't find Kouta anywhere. "Nozomi-chan, Kuu-chan, did any of you see where he went?"

"Karasubasa was killed by that pink hared Sekirei!" Mikogami suddenly started freaking out as he grabbed his boy-toy. "C'mon Mutsu I'm tired and scared and wanna go to bed with you- I mean go to bed now."

Mutsu sheathed his sword as Tsukiumi threw down her water dragons. "Well we did have a good battle, even though it was merely implied as a side battle but perhaps we will fight each other again."

"Hmm-hmm." Tsukiumi nodded. "Perhaps.

"Hey guys can I borrow a lift with you?" Higa ran over to the pretty boy and chest-exposing swordsman.

"But we're enemies aren't we?" Mikogami reminded the Ashikabi of the East. "Besides what about all your Sekirei?"

Higa quickly looked back at his defeated Sekirei army before he shrugged his shoulders. "I have like a secretary or some guy who deals with that..."

"Alright Minato, I think we should go back to the landlady's now." Tsukiumi clung herself around Minato's left arm.

"~Yeah let's go back together!" A chest exposing Musubi had recovered her spirit so she could take his other arm.

"Yeah these guys at the Waffle Inn are weirder than all of us Sekirei." Kusano hopped over to the guy''s feet.

"Yeah, well we certainly had a great time here Kouta? Kouta?" Minato was also dumbfounded as to Kouta's whereabouts. "He was right next to me a second ago."

"Yeah in the pile! Ya all go!" Minato noticed Yuka's man-pile had grown to include Bando, Seo, and even the lightning twins as well as a bunch of unconscious East Sekirei.

One of the lenses of Bandou's shades had broken, revealing a teary eye. "FUUUUCCK!" He screamed out for mercy before the wicked sex-demon of Kamakura drew him back in like a ghost wall.

Seo appeared somewhere in the pile and grinned. "Hey you know this ain't actually so bad- oh wait, NO NO NOT THERE SHIIIIT!"

"By the way Minato." Tsukiumi sounded slightly concerned about someone else. "Where's Kagari?"

"Well Kagari was in the Yuka pile for most of this fanfic but then got out when you both started fighting Mutsu..."

…

SOME SMALL BUSHES NOT FAR FROM THE FORMER SITE OF THE MAPLE INN:

"Wow! I never thought I'd say this, but doin' it with a sheman was fucking epic!" Kouta seemed quite satisfied as he started putting his pants back on.

Kagari took a drag of its cigarette as it leaned against a tree, its opened shirt revealing tiny breast-like mounds. "Well you were quite impressive as well."

"Yeah, y-know I think I could give Yuka some tips now." Kouta mentioned. "But what exactly was I putting my 'vector' into anyway?"

Kagari looked back at the young man and was could not be more blunt with its answer. "Oh that was just my other anus."

Kouta lifted and eyebrow until it reached over his forehead. "You-you uh..."

"Yeah...I have two anuses..." Kagari casually blew the tobacco out of its lungs as it gazed towards the Maple Inn ruins. "Well I better return home now, thanks for inviting us over for X-mas dinner Minato's friend." And with an affectionate slap on the knee the sheman left Kouta to contemplate what he had done and whether or not he'd be changing his census form next year.

_I don't think I'll invite Minato's friends over next X-Mas..._

* * *

><p>This was originally intended to be a one-shot, but when I realised how many characters and gags I wanted to fit in, I had to expand it to a few extra chapters. I hope you all got a laugh or two out of it and your more than welcome to send your angry or happy (usually preffered) reviews for this story. I never thought I'd stoop to doing a X-mas special for anything, but who knows what I might think of by next holiday period? So from myself and both the Elfen Lied and Sekirei cast we wish you a very belated Chirsmtas and hope you all stay safe - especially when around pink-haired girls with horns; silver-haired hermaphrodites and girls whose names begin with 'Y' and end in 'A'. Bye-bii<em><br>_


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